#aimed at all haters

[dailyfubukiclockford]

Day 51 of Fubuki

[buck-up-buck]

If I see ONE MORE THING bashing BuckTommy I am actually going to throw hands.

Let Bi!Buck be happy for FIVE MINUTES.

Hasn't our poor baby been through enough trauma, now you want him to fall for his first guy, and then rip him away from him? REALLY.

Leave. Tommy. And. Lou. And. Oliver. ALONE.

Ready for a fight. BuckTommy you have my heart and I WILL PROTECT YOU DAMNIT.

[bacchuschucklefuck]

just wanted to let you know that your art changed something in my brain chemistry. i love how you design the bad kids, especially riz. it makes me love him even more 😭😭

thank u! fantasy high as a series banks a lot on heightening and exaggerations, and trying to work with that general sensibility while translating the designs into something I have fun drawing has been nice to do :]

[soullessjack]

sorry I’m high and stupid brain posting but erm the amount of times I’ve seen that fucking “he’s not a villain he’s just a boy” quote stuck into jack moodboards is so funny bc A) it’s super repetitive and B) it’s almost representative of the way half of this fandom just dumbs him down to sunshiny baby who decided he’s good without like actually understanding The Turmoil , and with no appreciation for his teenage angst or bitchiness or the rabid soulless psychosis. it’s very unseasoned and flavorless frankly. If it were a meal it would be average temperature water and paper thin communion crackers I think . Put some tajin or perhaps some A-1 sauce on that boy

[magebutts]

i miss the old days when the cod fandom was so deep underground it was like you had to know the keywords to look for to get to the underground clubhouse and you needed a secret password from a preexisting member bc it was so looked down on and so deeply embarassing to tell people you not only played cod, but liked the campaigns

sighs wistfully

[running-with-kn1ves]

Cabin Fever, Baby Fever

A/N: originally named this doc ‘a dawg gone wrawng’ so I hope that gives you some idea as to what hell this is. Thanks to the anon for Conan's name, I wrote this mainly for his haters! deadass not sure if the drama is worth keeping most interested so his next ringer will probably be smut.

Part 1 , Part 2

Synopsis: You and the werewolf that knocked you up (ahem, kidnapper) discuss future pup names. 

CW: Pregnant! Reader described as a future ‘mother’, past mentions of kidnapping, kidnapper/kidnapped dynamic, knives 

You weren’t trusted in the kitchen. The only reason he left the knives out, was because he knew you wouldn’t have the gall to mess with them; if you did, a small steak knife wouldn’t do much to subdue the punishment you would quickly find, whether it was aimed at yourself or him. Anything else though, he didn’t believe you could handle. Not when you ached about the balls of your feet hurting, your lower back tensing up as you sat to read for the evening, or the dark circles laden under your eyes that made him throw a look of misery toward you.

It wasn’t just the roundness of your belly or the shift in your hormones causing you to complain. In fact, if you had been doing this entire pregnancy alone, you would probably be fine going back into work, with a slight pain in your tailbone or at your knees, but nothing you couldn’t handle. His hovering though, that was something out of your scope, doubling down on your constant stress from him always watching you. Like he was waiting for you to try and pick at the new keypad deadbolt he bought (mostly as an intimidation tactic.) Truly, a deadbolt would prove useless as long as he was here to stop you. 

Considering your recent… adventure had left you both exhausted, enraged, and anxious, your body had been deteriorating. You’d have no appetite some days and others you’d spend an evening ransacking the kitchen, alongside sleeping the entire day away only to be up at night sobbing, wishing you were anywhere but here in this shitty one bedroom flat, with a werewolf who didn’t even know how to decorate a damn living room besides for his PlayStation and 50-inch TV. 

He didn’t like to dwell on the past, or really anything that showed how miserable you were. So instead, Conan, the great next-door-whore and soon-to-be father, left you resting at the kitchen island to watch him try to cook, pretending like the fatigue causing your skin to droop and the redness in your eyes could be fixed by a good ol’ home-cooked meal. 

“I was thinking about baby names,” He broke the apartment’s stale silence, the slight sizzle of a pan on the stove accompanying his low voice. Often it felt like he talked to you like a hunter would, trying not to spook a fawn he planned on becoming his next wall decoration. “It’s so hard to choose. I mean, our kid is gonna have that name forever, y’know? Don’t want it to get picked on or nothin’ for its name.”

Our kid. What a strange thing to hear. You had known it as a fact, but hearing it outloud was bizarre.

“Names, huh…”  You let out a thin sardonic hmph at the thought.. “I agree, there’s enough things it’ll get pushed around for already, don’t need to add another one to the list.”

You didn’t mean to sound so bitter, but maybe it was the lack of concern for anything anymore that left you indifferent. 

Conan looked over his shoulder at you, his thickly haired arm still holding the pan’s handle. He was still chewing on the toothpick you saw him grab earlier. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

You knew this tone, the one that said you were playing with fire. 

“How many mixed parents do you know? It seems like trying for kids in general could be a death sentence…It’s not normal, or even common. This kind of interbreeding…I mean.” The thoughts were building the more you spoke; how hadn’t you thought of some of this until now-- What would your life be after giving birth? Would there be one at all? Humans weren’t meant to carry werewolf pups. Instead of scaring you, the idea almost felt irrelevant; you were already here, caged. Death might even be a blessing.  “Either way, ‘our kid’ won’t fit in with either humans or werewolves. There’s no one for them, no place or middle ground.” 

The worries you conjured were so surface level compared to Conan’s influence. How’ll this child grow up to be a normal being with a father who won’t even let its mother out of the house? A mother who had other plans in life than this?

“We’re not all that different in species,” Conan argued, turning away from the steaming pan to look at you. “And I guess we’ll just have to be the ones who protect it. I’m not against beating up some snot-nosed brats.”

Finding your hands with his calloused fingers, Conan kissed your knuckles with a practiced gentleness. It was uncomfortably soft, not like the werewolf who once demanded you cry out his name beneath his sheets. He gazed at you through his overgrown hair with a sick sense of watching, like his eyes were trained on you. When was he going to trust you enough again to go out of the house for longer than twenty minutes, at the very least to get a haircut? It’d be a relief to have some time to yourself. To get away from his ever-prying stare. 

“The kid will be fine, i’ll teach em’ some fist fighting techniques, show em’ how to properly give a wedgie.Before you know it our kid’ll be the one bullying!” 

“Right.” You sighed, giving a small grin to offset the poorly disguised glumness in your voice. The idea was a small drop of water in the desert of your new anxieties. 

Conan would rather have you screaming and hitting at him than to see you slumped on the bed again, but it had become so routine at this point even he began to feel defeated. Maybe this was a good sign though, some light in your eternal pessimism at his lame jokes. 

He leaned over the counter to press a small kiss to your lips, not waiting for you to return the gesture before moving back to the stove. 

“Well, back to names, I was thinking a little Connie, or something badass... like Maverick.” 

You made a face at the names, shaking your head a bit. 

“I guess I haven’t given much thought to it, but even those don’t sound right.” 

“Then…” He did something to the cooked meat to make a sharp hiss of steam rise. “Why don’t we go with something easy, like Conan?” 

Conan said the name with a strange lilt, waiting for your response. He kept his back to you, biting at the toothpick in his mouth. Was he secretly hoping you’d pick that one?

“You just want a kid named after you,” You cracked a genuine smile. “Connie, Maverick, or Conan junior is the best you can think of?”

Conan gave you a teasing look, taking the mouthwatering steak out of the pan with a pair of tongs.

“Hey, I don’t hear you coming up with anything better.” 

Looking down at your stomach, the bump started to look more familiar. You didn’t know what to think about the creature occasionally kicking at your uterus and forcing you to vomit in the mornings; it seemed like it was more a part of Conan than it was you, especially with the way he tended to it with his ear pressed to your stomach, rubbing your belly like you were some magical human lamp. 

“Technically, I guess the name would be fitting. ‘Little wolf’ isn’t too far from the truth.” 

Conan placed two plates full of meat and salad on a round dining table across from the kitchen. 

“And we’ll do Conanette if it's a girl.” He quipped. 

Rolling your eyes, you attempt to get out of the kitchen island’s chair. “Alright don’t push it.”

As soon as you move to stand, Conan is quick to rush himself in front of you, blocking your escape.

“I’ll carry you to the table.” He places one hand on the counter and stares at you cautiously.

“It’s literally like three feet,” You look behind him at the food, the hole in your stomach desperate for something with flavor and not the mere Saltines you’ve been eating all day. 

“Just let me do it. Please?” He looked almost desperate, most certainly ready to brood if you dared to reject him.

The last time he carried you was… not a pleasant ride. Is that why he wanted to pick you up now, to repair what he’s done? You almost grew irritated at the thought. Did he really think picking you up with your consent this time was going to change anything? You were a prisoner here, not some sweet lover. Just another one of his one-night stands gone wrong. 

Well, at least this explained why the sadism and horniness he usually radiated had been partly snuffed. 

A hard kick in your stomach made you clench your teeth; seemed like the little monster was as hungry as you were. 

“So fucking persistent...” You mumble, hurrying him with your hand to get it over with. If you wanted to eat and not be brutalized by a fetus, there was a clear option to choose. 

Conan was quick to follow, putting an arm at your back and under your knees to pick you up bridal style. Your bump had gotten big enough to be uncomfortable if he didn’t hold you right, but his arms were overly heedful when picking you up. Laying your head to rest on his collarbone, he kept your thighs away enough from your stomach to keep you uncramped. The werewolf had deadlifted barbells twice your size, leaving you to be a solid, comfortable warmness in his arms; this was one of the few times his strength didn’t appear  to make you afraid, the image of your comfort practically egging on the hubristic grin that spread on his lips. 

“See, it’s not all bad being treated like royalty.” He smirked, watching you hold the satisfaction of a ‘thank you’ or a smile from him. 

“Can you please hurry, mini Conanette is beating on her cell bars,” You wince, the smell of the seasoned meat making your mouth salivate and your stomach twist. You weren’t willing to let him know, but the warmth of his arms beneath you, the smell of his skin-- it brought about a gentle comfort, accompanied by a kind of unfamiliar terror that made you want to crawl out of your flesh.

Conan pulled out a wooden chair by the table with his foot, leaning down to set you in it. 

“T’s because little Conan knows his daddy’s here.” Conan gets on his knees to be eye level with your stomach, letting his hand rest on your knee. “Stop beating on your mother, you brat. Once you get out here, you’re gonna have to fight me like a man for all the pain you’ve been causing.”

“Okay, that’s enough out of you.”

His little remarks had forced a small laugh from your lips, making the evening like that more of a dream than reality. This was the same man who drug you back to his apartment, who won’t let you outside without a tight grip of his hand in yours?

You pull your chair in, searching for your fork and knife. Instead, a fork and a spoon were placed beside your plate, your steak already cut up in bite size pieces for you. Odd. 

That’s when you noticed it; the table was set up as per usual, but the tablecloth had been dry cleaned, and small candles were lit in the middle, a porcelain plate keeping the wax in a secluded pool. You even had a napkin at your side, something Conan didn’t particularly take note of often in bringing. 

The werewolf turned your face toward him with his large hand, careful not to strike you with his sharp claws. 

“Eat up, you need your protein.”

He almost sounded condescending, but the hard kiss pressed to your temple made you unsure.

This poor attempt at what looked like a date, an effort at putting back together something that never could be fixed, would not fool you. The missing knife was starting to make you nervous as Conan sat down on his side of the table, digging in, untroubled. It looked to be another freedom stripped away indefinitely, your food’s preparation an unfunny joke in how it was akin to being cut for a child.

Your laughter was gone, replaced by something sour bubbling in the back of your throat. You’d have to hope, to pray that today he just wasn’t taking any chances so you wouldn’t ‘ruin the evening,’, that you’d find the missing knife block back on the kitchen counter tomorrow morning. 

[nottsangel]

frat!theo x piss kink where he drinks too much so he can't really walk, and you guide him to the toilet to hold it while he pees but it's so messyyy 😫😫😫 bc you're not doing it so well, and he doesn't really complain. and at the end, he's asking why you're so wet and you're just 🥴

i love drunk idiots and piss (let the haters be mad about what you post, we're here for the good, the dark, and the insane 😋)

tw piss

“theo, jesus, slow down!” you gasp as he stumbles around his dorm, knocking things off his desk, aimlessly grasping onto anything. you jump out of his bed, wearing nothing but his t-shirt, as you guide him towards the bathroom, the loud music from the still lively party downstairs blasting through the walls.

“i don’t— i don’t need your help, babe” he drawls, stubbornly refusing your help as he sways from side to side, but you know better. you follow him into the bathroom, and when he’s standing in front of the toilet, he doesn’t even move an inch, his eyelids drooping as he seems to forget what he was doing in the first place.

“see? you do need my help.” “whatever.” he mutters, letting you take down his pants and boxers. his eyes crack open again, just enough to see what’s going on, a naughty smirk appearing on his face. you wrap your hand around his flaccid cock and aim it at the toilet bowl, and you can feel it slowly hardening under your touch.

“theo, i swear to god. just fucking pee!” “what? you expect me not to get hard when a hot girl’s grabbing my dick?” he says in a deep, raspy tone, the smirk not faltering from his face. finally, the first drops escape from the tip, followed by a steady stream. you squeal, struggling to aim properly as your own intoxicated state makes it difficult, making a mess all over the toilet and the tiles. but it’s not just the alcohol that’s making it hard to focus.

despite being drunk off his ass, theo quickly notices the way you’re staring at him, at the stream of piss coming from his cock, and he raises an eyebrow out of curiosity. by the time he’s done, with only a few droplets of pee trickling from the tip, you’re still fully in trance, your hand squeezing tightly around his cock as you lick your lips. theo tilts his head, then his hands move between your legs under his shirt, the sudden touch instantly jolting you out of your trance.

“the fuck are you wet for?” “i— what? i’m not!” you desperately try to deny, but theo chuckles, his fingers undeniably slick with your arousal.

“yeah you are, you’re fuckin’ dripping.” “it’s just that—” “jesus fuckin’ christ, you’re into piss too now? seriously? your kinks just keep getting weirder…”

ੈ♡˳

[specialagentartemis]

godddddd i have disliked becky chambers' work since long way to a small angry planet and I agree that that fish scene is SO much of what is wrong with contemporary SFF especially queer SFF. refreshing take, great review, thank you. would love to hear what authors or works you think of as the antidote to that sensibility.

The thing is, I enjoyed The Long Way to a Small Angry Planet when I first read it - it was a fun, light adventure, clearly a debut novel but I was excited to see where Chambers would go from there. And I actually really do think the sequel, A Closed and Common Orbit, was good! It did interesting things with AI personhood and identity.

... and then Chambers just kinda. Did not get better. She settled into a groove and has a set number of ideas that I feel like she hasn't broken out of, creatively. And they I M O kind of rest on an assumption that "human nature" = "how people act in suburban California."

As an antidote to that sensibility, I'd say... books where people have a real interrelationship with the land they inhabit, a sense of being present, and reciprocal obligations to that land; books that recognize that some things can never be taken back once done; books with well-drawn characters, where people have strong opinions deeply informed by their circumstances, that can't always be easily reconciled with others, and won't be brushed aside; books where these character choices matter, they impact each other, they cannot be easily gotten over, because people have obligations to each other and not-acting is a choice too.

And it's only fair that after all day of being a Hater I should rec some books I really did like.

Piranesi by Susanna Clarke - A man lives alone in an infinite House, over an equally infinite ocean. Captures the feeling that I think Monk & Robot was aiming for. Breathtaking beauty, wonder at the world, philosophy of truth, all that good stuff, and actually sticks the landing. The main character's love, attention, and care to his fantasy environment shows through in every page. (Fantasy, short novel)

Imperial Radch by Ann Leckie - An AI, the one fragment remaining of a destroyed imperial spaceship, is on a quest for revenge. Leckie gets cultural differences and multiculturalism, and conversely, what the imposition of a homogeneous culture in the name of unity means. (Space sci-fi, novel trilogy)

Machineries of Empire by Yoon Ha Lee - An army captain's insubordination is punished by giving her a near-impossible mission: to take down a rebelling, heretical sect holing up in a space fortress and defying imperial power. She gets a long dead brain-ghost of a notorious criminal downloaded into her head to help. Very, very good at making you feel like every doomed soldier was a person with a past, with a family, with feelings, with hopes and dreams and frustrations and favorites and preferences and reasons to live, right before they brutally die in a space war. Also very much about the imposition of homogeneity of culture as a force of imperialism. (Space sci-fi, novel trilogy)

The Fortunate Fall by Cameron Reed - Maya Andreyevna is a VR journalist in high-tech dystopian future Russia, and she decides to investigate the truth that the government doesn't want her to. She might die trying. It's fine. Also has digital brain-sharing, this time in a gay way. It's bleak. It's sad. It feels real. Not making a choice is a choice. Backing out is a choice. And choices have consequences. Choices reverberate through history. About responsibility. (Cyberpunk, novel)

The Vanished Birds by Simon Jimenez - Nia Imani is a spaceship captain, a woman out of time, a woman running from her past, and accidentally adopts a boy who has a strange power that could change the galaxy. Spaceship crew-as-found-family in the most heartbreaking of ways. Also about choices, how the choices you make and refuse to make shape you and shape the world around you. How the world is always changing around you, how the world does not stay still when you're gone, and when you come back you're the same but the world has moved on around you. About how relationships aren't always forever, and that doesn't mean they weren't important. About responsibility to others. It's a slow, sad book and does not let anyone rest on their laurels, ever. There is no end of history here. Everything is always changing, on large scales and small, and leaving you behind. (Space sci-fi, novel)

Dungeon Meshi / Delicious in Dungeon by Ryoko Kui - A D&D style fantasy dungeon crawl that stops to think deeply about why there are so many dungeons full of monsters and treasure just hanging around. Here because it's an example of an author thinking through her worldbuilding a lot, and it mattering. Also because of the characters' respect for the animals they are are killing and eating, their lives and their place in the ecosystem, and the ways that humans both fuck up ecosystems with extraction and tourism, but also the ways that you can have reciprocal relationships of responsibility and care with the ecosystem you live in, even if it's considered a dangerous one. (Fantasy, manga series)

Stories of Your Life and Others by Ted Chiang and How Long 'Til Black Future Month by N. K. Jemisin and Everyone on the Moon is Essential Personnel by Julian K. Jarboe - Short story anthologies that were SO good and SO weird and rewired the way I think. If you want the kind of stuff that is like, the opposite of easy-to-digest feel-good pap, these short stories will get into your brain and make you consider stuff and look at the world from new angles. Most of them aren't particularly upbeat, but there's a lot of variety in the moods.

"Homecoming is Just Another Word for the Sublimation of the Self," "Calf Cleaving in the Benthic Black," and "Termination Stories for the Cyberpunk Dystopia Protagonist" by Isabel J. Kim - Short stories, sci-fi mostly, that twist around in my head and make me think. Kim is very good at that. Also about choices and not-making-choices, about going and staying, about taking the easy route or the hard one, about controlling the narrative.

The Murderbot Diaries by Martha Wells - Security robot with guns in its arms hacks itself free from its oppressive company, mostly wants to half-ass its job but gets sucked into drama, intrigue, and caring against its better judgement. This is on here because 1) I love it 2) I feel like it does for me what cozy sff so frequently fails to do - it makes me feel seen and comforted. It's hopeful and compassionate and about personal growth and finding community and finding one's place in the world, without brushing aside all problems or acting like "everybody effortlessly just gets along" is a meaningful proposal. also 3) because it is one of the few times I have yet seen characters from a hippie, pacifistic, eco-friendly, welcoming, utopian society actually act like people. The humans from Preservation are friendly, helpful, and motivated by truth and justice and compassion, because they come from a friendly, just, compassionate society, and they still actually act like real human beings with different personalities and conflicting opinions and poor reactions to stress and anger and frustration and fear and the whole range of human emotions rather than bland niceness. Also 4) I love it (space sci-fi, novella series mostly)

[vague-humanoid]

The depth and scope of racism now directed at Arab Americans is staggering.  Many liberals are looking for somebody to blame for Kamala Harris’s dismal showing in the recent election and have found the perfect scapegoat in Arab Americans (along with Muslim Americans more broadly, anti-Zionists of all backgrounds, and, unbelievably, the Palestinians currently suffering a genocide). 

It’s empirically untrue that Arab Americans cost Harris the election, but that’s not what I want to focus on here.  There’s no need to rationalize the community’s voting choices (to the extent that they can even be understood) using the same common sense that led us into this mess in the first place.  Electoral common sense has precisely zero benefit to anybody serious about improving the world.  We don’t need to appease liberal angst or plead for liberal approval according to the parameters they impose upon us.  Our aim, however distant or far-fetched it may seem, is to vanquish rather than accommodate oppression—the aim, in other words, is to win.  The American liberal is a natural-born loser. 

(To put it more bluntly:  even if Arab Americans were responsible for Harris’s loss, we still would have nothing to apologize for.) 

So a lot of liberals are mad at us.  Let them stay that way.  Nothing we say will assuage their anger, no matter how gentle or reassuring or contrite the message.  Their tranquility is beyond our power.  Anyway, it’s critical in this moment to brush aside their petulance and reaffirm the value of Palestinian life and the dignity of all oppressed people around the world. 

[narfin-frood]

pivotal moment where wander "has to" integrate sylvia into the hivemind and it EATS at him and it's the catalyst for a great deal of his redemption arc

GOOD PROMPT!!!! VERY GOOD PROMPT!!! i'm sorry the captions and timing are a little fuckedup but i could not REST until i finished this. i do recommend pausing to read some of this, and if that ends up being tedious, i'll put the thumbnails with a transcript under the cut!!

TRANSCRIPT:

[interior, planet yonder. wander growls in distress, green lightning sparking around him]

MR. METEOR: peepers, we gotta get outta here! [he grabs peepers by the hand and takes off]

WANDER: N-N-N-NO! YOU WILL NOT UNDO ALL MY HARD WORK!!

[wander growls again. sylvia covers her head to protect from falling objects]

SYLVIA: WANDER! are you okay??

WANDER: I'M FINE!!!

SYLVIA: really?? cuz this place is lookin' like it might not hold up much longer!!

WANDER: NO!!!

[wander rubs his forehead with his fingers, grimacing with effort. the lightning dissipates. cut to mr. meteor and sir peepers, at a crossroads. mr. meteor is looking up and around the ceiling as peepers scampers around him, looking for the way out]

SIR PEEPERS: ohhhh where'd we park?? which way is out??? ohhh grop it all looks the same!!! we're trapped!!!

MR. METEOR: it stopped...

SIR PEEPERS: [glances upward] ...huh.

[cut back to sylvia and wander]

SYLVIA: that's some willpower you got there, buddy...

WANDER: sylvia?

SYLVIA: hm?

WANDER: i want you to go after them. and i want you... to hurt them.

SYLVIA: wh...what...?

WANDER: i believe i've made myself clear.

SYLVIA: [shakes her head] no. i'm not doing that. you don't want me to do that.

WANDER: AND WHO ARE YOU TO ARGUE??? FOR THE GOOD OF THE COLONY, SISTER, I ORDER YOU TO GET THEM!!!

[wander breathes heavily from the effort of screaming. sylvia looks disgusted.]

SYLVIA: [removing her cloak] alright.

WANDER: w-w-wait, what're you doing?

SYLVIA: i'm leaving. [she wads up her cloak into a ball] if this is the kinda operation you're running now, i don't wanna be part of it. have fun spreading kindness across the galaxy.

[wander stares at her, wide-eyed and baring his teeth in an intense frown, as she walks away]

WANDER: [reaching out to grab her with several arms] YOU GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!!!!!

[cut to mr. meteor and peepers, who are running down a tunnel]

MR. METEOR: are you sure we're going the right way??

SIR PEEPERS: i have NO IDEA sir

MR. METEOR: it opens up ahead! this might be the way out!

[camera zooms in and focuses on the end of the tunnel. something drops from the ceiling right in front of the exit, unfolding itself to take the form of sylvia. she has two mushroom arms sticking out of the sides of her head, connected to the ceiling, and her cloak is on again.]

MR. METEOR: UH-OH!

SIR PEEPERS: OH GROP

[closeup on sylvia's face. she snorts]

MR. METEOR: she doesn't look too happy, peepers!

SIR PEEPERS: why are you saying that like it's MY fault??

[sylvia mimics rolling up the sleeve she doesn't have and crouches, preparing to leap. peepers reaches for his sword.]

SYLVIA: GRRH!

[sylvia leaps into the air, screaming, aiming for peepers]

SYLVIA: YAAAAAAAAH!!!

SIR PEEPERS: ENGARDE, SHE-BEAST!

[shot changes to a flat shot from the side, and sylvia sails over peeper's head, crash-landing on the floor with a smack. she slides forward until she arrives at mr. meteor's feet.]

MR. METEOR: uhh...?

[sylvia shoots back to her feet, grabbing mr. meteor by the collar and winding back to punch him in the face}

MR. METEOR: WHOAWHOAWHOAWHOA WAIT!! NOOOOOO NOT THE FAAAAAAACE!

[sylvia's fist makes surprisingly gentle contact with hater's jaw. he looks at her in confusion, and sees her crying]

MR. METEOR: uhh. okay. um.

[he begins to scoot past her and away. sylvia crumples to the ground, shaking]

MR. METEOR: seems like you're goin' through a lot right now, and...if you're done, y'know, trying to kill us, or whatever that was...

[he trails off and makes eye contact with Sir Peepers. They dash off down the tunnel and disappear.]

[spiicii]

the og bloodline / bloodline property (snapshots)

jey uso / jimmy uso / roman reigns / solo sikoa / sami zayn x fem!reader   word count → 7.0k summary → you belong to the bloodline, but life with the family isn’t without its shenanigans. between prank wars and arguments over movie night, the boys certainly know how to keep you on your toes.  notes → this fic is meant to be a fun look at the character dynamics! i get a lot of questions about how the reader interacts with the family outside of the steamy scenes and i thought this would be a fun way to explore it. that being said, there’s still plenty of smut at the end where jimmy finally gets the reader all to himself ;) links → masterlist / taglist tags → daddy kink, dom/sub lifestyle, unprotected piv sex, degradation, dirty talk, begging, spanking, hair pulling, crying, possessive behavior, jealousy, cuddling, and fluff, jimmy likes to be called sir (change my mind)

Movie Night 

The living room was in an uproar. The three brothers were arguing, all of them standing off in front of the TV as they continued to talk over each other. It didn’t help that they all spoke with their hands, gesticulating wildly as they continued to bicker. You could hardly make out the words amidst the chatter, each sentence louder than the last. 

“I done told you we ain’t watchin’ that shit, uce! I hate that fucking series.” 

“What’s wrong with Halloween, man? You nothin’ but a hater!” 

“You picked last time anyway! Why don’t you sit yo’ ass down and shut the fuck up for once!” 

“At least I got some taste! What ‘bout you? Always pickin’ the longest fucking movie ever and then complainin’ when everyone falls asleep. I should snatch that damn remote out yo’ hand!” 

You rolled your eyes, moving back to the microwave to check on the popcorn. You were the only one in the house who wouldn’t burn it. You watched with an amused expression as Sami moved to your side, his eyes still glued to the conflict in the living room. 

“Are they always like this?” 

You chuckled. “Just for movie night. They take it very seriously.” 

Sami made a sound of agreement, watching as Jey grabbed a blanket from one of the couches and hurled it at his twin’s head, who dodged it with ease. 

“Ha! I see yo’ aim ain’t improved since college!” 

“Aye, you better watch yo’ mouth!” 

Sami’s eyes moved to where Roman sat near the balcony door, his hand covering his face in annoyance as the boys continued to yell. 

“And Roman just…let’s it happen?” 

You shrugged. “If he gets involved they just yell louder. But don’t worry, they just need to get it out of their system. Once the popcorn is done they’ll calm down.” 

Sami didn’t seem convinced, frowning as Solo snatched the remote from Jimmy’s unsuspecting hand. 

“Hey! You ain’t slick - give that back!” 

“Don’t nobody wanna watch that shit, uce. Your picks always suck!” 

“Oh you one to talk! Whatchu wanna watch tonight? The Notebook?” 

The bickering continued, Roman leaning his head back against the chair to stare at the ceiling in exasperation. You couldn’t hide a smile as you pulled the popcorn from the microwave, motioning for Sami to hand you a bowl. 

“How on earth do they ever decide on a movie?” Sami asked, his eyes flickering back to the living room in concern as Jimmy tackled Solo to the couch, both of them fighting for control of the remote. 

“They don’t.” You replied.

Sami still seemed confused. “Then how-?”

“Just watch.” 

You turned off the kitchen lights, handing the bowl of popcorn to Sami, before moving into the living room. 

The boys were still wrestling on the couch, Jey now getting involved as he placed his younger brother in a headlock. The yelling was so loud you knew you’d get a noise complaint from the neighbors. Again. 

With a practiced ease, you approached the couch, avoiding the flurry of limbs, and deftly plucked the TV remote from Solo’s hands. They didn’t even notice, Solo now using his feet to fend off Jimmy. Now irritated at his younger twin’s intrusion, Jimmy decided to lunge for Jey who let out a creative string of expletives as his brother tackled him off the back of the couch and onto the floor. 

Roman let out a long-suffering sigh, watching with a growing irritation as the twins knocked over a lamp in their tussle. 

You threw a cheeky wink to Sami who was watching the scene unfold with horror. “Watch this.” You cleared your throat, speaking loudly over the yelling. “Oh no! Who am I going to sit with for the movie?” 

You watched with amusement as the yelling instantly stopped, the three brothers scrambling to return back to their seats. You raised an eyebrow as Jimmy kicked his younger twin to the side in an effort to make it to his seat first, his eyes innocent as he looked back at you. 

“You can sit here, baby.” Jimmy cooed, patting his lap. “It’s right here waitin’ for you.” 

“Man, shut up!” Jey snapped, taking his seat beside his twin. You were impressed at how quickly he switched from irritated to begging as he gave you his best puppy-dog eyes. “You can sit wit’ me, sweetheart. Come on, you know you want to.” 

You glanced over at Solo who had taken a chair of his own, now glowering at his older brothers with his arms across his chest. 

You turned back to Sami who was staring at you. “See?"

You took the popcorn bowl from a still surprised looking Sami, popping a few pieces in your mouth as you turned back to the brothers. “I don’t even know why you’re arguing. You know we’re still watching the Scream movies in order, right? Aren’t we on the third one now?” 

The brothers frowned, looking at each other. Clearly they’d forgotten. 

You sighed. “Well, you’d better get comfortable. I’m about to start it.” 

Jimmy and Jey scrambled to pick up the blankets and pillows from the floor, still looking at you expectantly in the hopes that you would choose them as your designated seat for the night. Solo, ever the wise one, didn’t even try, knowing full well what your intentions were as he settled into his chair. 

You couldn’t help but press a kiss to Solo’s forehead, watching as the irritation melted from his face, his eyes now sparkling with fondness as he looked up at you. 

You turned to Sami. “Sit wherever you want, hon. But don’t engage in the arguments about horror movie tropes. It only encourages them.” 

“Horror movie tropes…” Sami seemed bewildered. 

You waved a finger at the twins. “You got a lot of nerve. Making a mess of this house and expecting me to sit with you. And in front of Sami too? He’s gonna think we’re animals or something.” 

The twins at least had the decency to look embarrassed, both of them fidgeting under the mountain of blankets they’d accumulated. You made a pointed look to the lamp they’d knocked on the floor and Jey quickly returned it to the table, offering you a sheepish grin. 

You rolled your eyes, making your way over to Roman’s chair who had been watching you with unconcealed pride. You were the only ones who could wrangle the brothers without making a scene and he made a pleased sound as you climbed into his lap, offering him some popcorn as you curled up against him.

The twins began to protest, still staring at you with pleading puppy eyes, but a sharp glance from the Tribal Chief quickly silenced them. You chuckled, pressing a kiss against Roman’s neck just to watch the twins stare in jealousy. 

You held out the bowl to them. “Popcorn?” 

Prank Wars

Monday

It started with Jimmy. Of course, it started with Jimmy. He’d decided to hide behind the shower curtain to scare Jey one afternoon after a workout. 

You hadn’t known about it in advance, but you were sure that was calculated. Jimmy knew you would have stopped him.

It wasn’t because you hated fun (although you knew Jimmy would disagree). You loved a good prank as much as the next person. The problem was that pranks were never just pranks with the Samoans. They always escalated and once it started it was difficult to stop. The last time the brothers got into a prank war it had taken months to finally come to a truce. 

You’d been in the living room with Solo, curled up in his lap as you both read the newest Stephen King book.

“Are you ready to turn the page?” You asked, already reaching up to do so before he snatched the book away. 

“No, I’m not ready to turn the page!” Solo grumbled with a frown. “You read too damn fast.” 

You chuckled, a clever retort already on your tongue before you heard Jey’s bellow of alarm, followed by Jimmy’s maniacal laughter. 

You and Solo were quick to abandon the book, making haste to the twins’ shared bathroom to see what all the commotion was about. 

“What the actual fuck, man?!” Jey’s tone was indignant, completely naked as he fumbled with the towel he’d dropped in surprise. 

Jimmy was too busy cackling, pointing childishly to his brother’s naked form. 

“You should have seen your face!” He crowed, doubling over with laughter. 

Jey already looked pissed, but once he saw you and Solo in the doorway his face went crimson. You let out a sigh, Jimmy’s loud laughter still echoing against the tile of the bathroom. There was a glint in Jey’s eye and you knew that this was just the beginning. 

He was already plotting his revenge. 

Tuesday 

You didn’t think Jey would retaliate so quickly, but you couldn’t say you were surprised. Once the prank war started, things always got out of hand. 

Roman and Paul were out, but the rest of you were in the living room eating dinner. Sami was sitting next to you on the couch, his leg pressed against yours as he showed you a video on his phone while Solo and Jimmy were talking. Meanwhile, Jey was leaning back in his chair, apparently scrolling on his phone. 

Things seemed normal. Calm. 

Jey eventually put his phone down and returned to his salad, easily joining the conversation with his brothers. 

Nothing out of the ordinary. 

Eventually Jimmy’s phone started to ding. You didn’t think anything about it at first, but the notifications kept coming, his phone continuing to light up and vibrate as more and more messages came in. 

Jimmy noticed, setting down his bowl to pull his phone from his pocket. “The fuck?” He muttered, his fingers tapping on the screen to see what all the commotion was about. 

“What is it, uce?” Jey’s voice held a teasing note and you were immediately suspicious. 

Sami’s phone started to vibrate as well and you saw a few notifications pop up at the top of his screen, all of them from Twitter. 

@CodyRhodes Looks like someone played too hard last night! 

@AustinCreedWins Posting this online is diabolical 

You watched as Sami clicked on them, pulling up a photo of Jimmy in bed asleep, a spoon hanging from his mouth and a cup of chocolate pudding in his hand. The caption read ‘Big bro caught lacking again’ and already had 800 likes, despite only being posted 3 minutes ago. 

“Are you fucking serious?” Jimmy’s voice was scathing, his eyes narrowed as he looked up at his brother. 

Jey’s smile was smug. “Hope it was worth it, uce.” 

It was taking all of your willpower to avoid laughing, but Sami wasn’t helping, already covering his mouth to hide his giggles. 

Jimmy sucked his teeth. “That’s cute.” He said, his eyes fiery. “But weak. You can’t do better than that?” 

Jey shrugged, taking an innocent bite of his salad while you and Sami watched more notifications come in. 

@RandyOrton 😴🍫

@FightOwensFight So this is why he’s slow as hell in the ring

Jimmy was typing furiously on his phone, still scowling. You saw Sami’s finger hover temptingly over the retweet button, casting you a conspiratorial glance.

“I’m not sure you want to get involved.” You whispered.

“Oh, come on.” Sami whispered back. “It can’t be that bad.” 

“Did you change the fucking password to our Twitter account?” Jimmy’s voice was outraged and Sami quickly turned off his phone, the temptation gone. 

Meanwhile Jey just sat there and smirked. 

Wednesday 

Soft sunlight filtered through the bedroom window, warming your cheek and slowly rousing you from slumber. You could feel Jey’s strong arms wrapped around you, his breath tickling the back of your neck as he kept you pulled close to his chest. You let out a contented sigh, snuggling closer to him and smiling as you felt him lean up to kiss your temple. 

It wasn’t uncommon to wake up in someone else’s bed. You weren’t picky about where you slept and you tried to be fair, giving each of the brothers an equal amount of attention. Jey made it hard though. He was quick to whisk you away to his bedroom, often doing his best to monopolize your time whenever the Tribal Chief was gone or busy.

“Mornin’,” He rumbled, his voice still heavy with sleep. 

“Morning.” You echoed, twisting around to face him. He always looked so beautiful like this, his brown eyes half-lidded and sleepy as he offered you a lazy smile. 

“Sleep good?” He murmured and you nodded, smiling as he pressed a gentle kiss to your lips. 

You quickly shied away, covering your mouth. “I don’t think you want all this. I haven’t brushed my teeth yet.” 

Jey’s smile was a burst of sunshine. “I’ll survive.” 

You relaxed as he kissed you again, his lips impossibly soft. You let out a hum of contentment and he pulled you closer, his hands warm against your bare skin. But when he moved his leg up to wrap around yours he immediately stopped, breaking away from the kiss to frown. 

You stared at him. “What is it?” 

Jey moved his leg around underneath the sheets, his brow furrowed. “This bed feel wet to you?” 

Now it was your turn to frown, moving your legs around beneath the sheets to feel for yourself. The sheets did feel damp, especially near your feet. 

You both leaned up at the same time to look and you couldn’t suppress a scream when you saw what was at the end of the bed. 

It was a lobster. 

A living, moving, wet lobster. The fucker was huge, rubber bands around his claws and his beady eyes staring at you. You continued to scream, pulling your legs up to your chest and pressing yourself against the headboard. Jey was so startled, both by the lobster and your screams that he jerked back, sitting up so quickly that he lost his balance. He fell off the bed, pulling the sheets, and the lobster, with him, where they landed on the floor with a loud thump!

You had enough courage to lean over the side of the bed and stare at Jey who was now sprawled out on the floor, his eyes wild. 

“Jesus fucking Christ!” He swore, yanking at the tangled mess of sheets and blankets to look for the lobster, who was now drowning in a sea of cotton. 

You heard the source of the laughter before you saw it, Jimmy’s guffaws giving away his position in the bathroom. He was crouched in the doorway like a gremlin, a shit-eating grin on his face as he continued to point and laugh at his brother. 

“Oh my god, that was fucking priceless!” Jimmy could hardly get the words out, his smile so wide you could see all of his teeth. “I should have gotten that on video!” 

Solo and Sami were quickly in the room, summoned by your screams and Jey’s cursing. Solo looked worried, though the worry quickly shifted to annoyance at the sight of his older brother laughing hysterically. Sami just looked confused. 

“What happened?” He asked, his eyebrow raised at Jey. “What are you doing on the floor?” 

Jey hurled a pillow at him. “You think I’m just chillin’ here, uce?” He snapped and Sami looked like he was trying not to laugh. 

“Where is it?” You asked meekly. 

“Where’s what?” asked Sami. He took a step forward and you raised your hand in a panic.  

“No! Not another step!” You shrieked. “There’s a lobster in here!” 

Sami immediately jumped back, staring at the jumbled sheets on the floor in confusion. There was a beat of silence before he finally said, “There’s a what in here?” 

“Got it at the store this morning!” Jimmy sounded far too pleased with himself. “And if she hadn’t been in here,” He pointed at you. “I would have put it next to your face!” 

Jey quickly stood, uncaring that he was naked or that there was a lobster somewhere lost in the room. He launched himself at his twin, the two of them tumbling to the ground, while Solo stared up at the ceiling in exasperation.  

Thursday 

Roman had insisted they take you out somewhere nice tonight. They had a big show tomorrow and you knew it would be some time before all of you could spend time together again. You were thrilled by the suggestion, smacking a huge kiss onto Roman’s cheek in your excitement when he’d told you the news. 

It was the nicest restaurant in town, though you weren’t surprised. The Tribal Chief only took you to the finest places - nothing but the best for his girl. Roman had ensured that the seven of you had a private room, far away from the press and fans who seemed to follow them everywhere. 

You sat beside Roman and Jimmy, watching with a smile as Paul told a particularly entertaining story about his ECW days. 

You noticed Jimmy shift next to you, as if he were uncomfortable, reaching a hand up to tug at the collar of his shirt. 

You leaned into his side. “Hey, you alright?” 

Jimmy met your gaze with a distant smile. “Hm? Oh, yeah. It’s nothing.” 

But clearly it wasn’t nothing. Jimmy continued to fidget uncomfortably, sweat beginning to bead on his forehead. He seemed unsure of what to do with his hands, often tugging on his shirt or pants while trying to be discreet. You leaned over, about to question him again, but he quickly got up and excused himself before you could, hardly tossing a backwards glance your way as he made a beeline for the bathroom. 

You furrowed your brow in confusion, though the confusion was quickly cleared up when you met Jey’s triumphant gaze. He’d done something to his brother, that much was obvious, but you weren’t sure what. 

You felt Roman’s hand on your thigh and you were reminded that the Tribal Chief knew nothing about the pranks going on between the twins. He hated them even more than you did and you knew that he would disapprove of the shenanigans, especially since he knew how quickly they escalated. 

“Did Jimmy get lost?” Sami finally asked when Jimmy failed to return to the table. You were the only one to notice Jey’s smirk, though he quickly hid it by taking a sip of his drink. 

“This is supposed to be a family outing.” Roman grumbled, his hand tightening against your thigh. You were quick to reassure him. 

“I’m sure he’s fine,” You cooed, taking Roman’s hand in yours and rubbing your thumb across his knuckles. “Maybe he’s just feeling a little under the weather.” 

Jimmy didn’t return to the table until well after the food arrived, his copper cheeks flushed red. You noticed that his forehead was still shining with sweat as he continued to fidget uncomfortably in his chair. 

You reached out to take his hand and give it a squeeze, but he only offered you a weak smile in return. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” You whispered and Jimmy nodded quickly, focusing on his food to avoid your concerned gaze. 

Eventually Jimmy’s fidgeting caught Roman’s attention. “What’s your problem?” The Tribal Chief demanded, causing Jimmy to drop his fork in surprise. The entire table went silent, everyone staring. Jimmy seemed flustered. 

“Uh…nothing, uce. Whatchu mean?” Jimmy tried to play it off with a weak chuckle but was failing epically. 

“Why can’t you sit still?” Roman’s tone was scathing. “We’re supposed to be out enjoying ourselves and you’re acting like it’s torture for you. Is going out really that big of a problem?” 

“What? No!” Jimmy seemed alarmed. “No, I’m good, uce. I just think I might be allergic to our laundry detergent or something.” 

Jey snorted in amusement but he quickly returned to his food when Roman looked at him. 

You pressed a sweet kiss to Roman’s cheek. “It’s fine, baby,” You murmured, hoping to distract him from his growing irritation. “I’m having a good time. Did you enjoy your food?” 

Roman gave one more annoyed look to Jimmy before he turned back to you, his gaze softening as he answered your question. 

Jimmy slouched in his seat, relieved to no longer be under the Tribal Chief’s scrutiny, though he threw his twin a dirty look. Jey ignored him, resuming his conversation with Paul and Solo while Sami looked on with interest. 

Eventually the dinner concluded, the seven of you walking back out to the parking lot. You stayed by the Tribal Chief’s side, though you didn’t miss Jimmy grabbing his brother’s arm, hissing into his ear, “What the fuck did you do to me?” 

Jey’s grin was devious. “Did you know you could buy itching powder online? Me neither. Glad to see it worked so well.” 

Jimmy was seething. “I’m gonna fucking kill you.” 

But Jey just laughed. 

Friday 

The twins were in the living room, both of them lounging exhaustedly after a particularly brutal workout. They wanted to be sharp for the show tonight, especially since they were defending their tag team titles. You watched appreciatively as Jey leaned back in his chair, his crop top riding up to reveal his toned stomach and his long legs stretched out in front of him as he leaned back to close his eyes. Jimmy looked equally delicious, manspreading on the couch with his phone in hand, his long hair tied up in a bun. 

You stopped in front of them, clutching your back with a bit more drama than you usually did. 

“Oh, god,” you moaned, rubbing your lower back as if you were in pain. “What the hell have I done to it?” 

The twins materialized at your side, their hands immediately on you. 

“You alright, pretty girl?” Jimmy seemed concerned, his hands warm as he reached under your shirt to feel the muscles of your back. You hissed dramatically as he touched you and Jey took a step back. 

“What is it?” Jey asked, his tone worried. He was reaching for his phone. “Do I need to call one of the trainers up here?” 

“No, no.” You waved your hand dismissively. “No, I think I just need you to pop my back.” 

The twins had done it a million times before, their strong arms able to lift you with ease to pop your back whenever you had pain. 

Jimmy’s arms were around you instantly, pulling you backwards against him so he could lift you. 

“Ready?” he asked and you nodded. 

He lifted and your feet left the ground. That’s when you did it. You’d hidden two pieces of uncooked pasta in your teeth and you quickly bit down on them as Jimmy lifted you up, simulating the sound of bones cracking. 

You immediately went limp, closing your eyes as you allowed your body to collapse. 

“What the fuck?!” Jey’s voice was panicked, someone’s hands on you to keep you from falling to the floor. You felt a warm hand cradling your neck, someone’s breath against your cheek. 

“Oh my fucking god!” Jimmy’s voice was equally panicked, his hands roaming you. “I didn’t…I didn’t think I-” 

“What the hell did you do?” Jey bellowed, more hands on you as the two shuffled above your limp body. 

“Babe, open your eyes!” Jimmy sounded distressed. “Oh my god, what the fuck…” 

You didn’t actually want to torture them so you quickly opened your eyes with a wide grin. The twins were kneeling over you, both of them staring down at you in a weird mixture of shock and panic. 

“Surprise!” You garbled, spitting out the uncooked pasta just to watch the twins’ eyes widen in realization. “I’m not dead!” 

Jimmy’s mouth fell open. “You…”

“What the actual fuck?” Jey demanded, still angry and running high on adrenaline. “Why’d you do that?” 

You sat up, trying to suppress your laughter. “To prove that pranks are stupid.” You told them, giving them a knowing look. “And to beg both of you to stop with the prank war before someone really does get hurt.” 

Jimmy closed his mouth, his pupils still dilated from the near heart attack you’d almost given him. Meanwhile, his twin was still huffing and puffing, his brow furrowed as he looked down at you. 

There was a beat of silence and you stood up, the twins quickly following in suit.

“I mean it.” You told them, your gaze at them now serious. “The last time you got involved in a prank war you almost burned down a hotel and wasted hundreds of dollars on a cement truck. Hell, I don’t even know what the cement truck was for. All I know is that we don’t need to go in that direction again. You're both even now. 2 for 2. So let’s agree to just end it here. Okay?” 

There was a long silence. The twins looked at each other, then back at you. You could tell they didn’t want to, but you refused to give in, raising an eyebrow at them. 

“Okay?” 

The twins finally nodded, though they still refused to look at each other. You frowned. 

“Good. Now hug it out.” 

The twins stared at you incredulously, already beginning to protest. 

“Come on…we agreed to stop, ain’t that enough?” 

“I ain’t gonna hug Mr. Ugly, are you crazy?” 

You held up your hand. “Hug it out or no blowjobs for a week.” 

The twins’ arms were around each other so fast you couldn’t help but laugh.

Game Night

I ain’t ever playing wit yo’ cheatin’ ass again! 

Cheating? Just admit you suck, uce. 

You one to talk. Didn’t Solo take half of yo’ last paycheck? 

Oh, you got jokes now, huh? Rich comin’ from you after Roman done took every penny to your name. 

How ‘bout I come over there and knock that disrespect out yo’ mouth? 

That was how poker night had ended last time. Had the Tribal Chief not intervened, the twins would have come to blows right there in the living room. After pulling them apart, Roman had sworn up and down that poker was officially banned and that they would not be doing this again. 

Unfortunately, Roman was full of shit. 

It didn’t matter how horrible the last poker night ended, they would still somehow always end up back here: gathered around the dining room table, beers in hand, and loud music in the background. No matter how strict Roman pretended to be he was just as weak as his cousins when it came to gambling. You couldn’t be sure exactly why, though you suspected that it might be because he was actually good at it. He almost always won, no matter how hard his younger cousins worked to take his money. 

Even now as he kept you perched in his lap, his hand curled possessively on your thigh, you could see him holding the winning hand. You couldn’t help but smile, leaning back to pepper his neck with kisses. You heard his chuckle rumble in the large expanse of his chest, his lips soft as he kissed your cheek. 

“Come on, y’all. We ain’t doin’ dinner and a show.” Jimmy’s words were annoyed, but his tone was playful as he eyed you in his Chief’s lap. You saw the way his eyes traveled down to your exposed breasts, his eyes filled with want. He was waiting for you to give up Roman’s lap for his. Which you had considered. But for now you were more than happy to stay in the Tribal Chief’s lap, his hands warm against your bare skin. 

“What do you think, pretty girl?” Roman asked, his tone knowing. “Should I raise?” 

You grinned up at him, nuzzling against his soft beard. “Mm hm. I think so, Daddy.”

“Well, you heard her, boys.” The Tribal Chief said, pushing his chips to the middle of the table. 

You watched as Jey frowned, his eyes scanning his own cards. You’d told him a million times to work on his poker face but nothing ever changed. He still wore his heart on his sleeve, every thought still on his face no matter how hard he tried to hide it. It was one of the things you loved about him, even if it did cause him to lose every hand of poker he ever played. 

Solo, on the other hand, was a professional. His stoic nature was both his weapon and his shield. In all their years of playing poker together, Solo was the only one to ever take any serious cash from his older cousin, much to Roman’s chagrin. Perhaps he’d win again tonight, his stony face giving nothing away. 

While Jimmy was certainly better than his twin at hiding his emotions, he had tics - dead giveaways that you were quick to learn. His cocky attitude wasn’t nearly as effective as his younger brother’s stoicism and you could always read his eyes, no matter how much bravado he put on. 

Sami was a bit more difficult to read. He was new to the game and he had been timid so far, folding every chance he got without taking any real risks. You wondered what Roman thought about it, though you didn’t get a chance to ask, his hand slapping your ass to urge you up. 

“Grab me another beer, will ya, baby?” 

The Tribal Chief’s words were commanding and you were eager to obey. “Yes, Daddy.” You murmured, pressing another kiss to his cheek before heading to the kitchen. 

You tried to suppress a smile as the entire table leaned forward to watch you walk away. Roman really thought he was slick, but you knew him too well. He’d used you as a distraction. And his family had fallen for the bait. 

You weren’t sure exactly what happened while your back was turned, but you heard a loud cacophony of groans and yells, no doubt indicating that the Tribal Chief had won. Again. 

“Man, this some bullshit!” 

“Jesus, we can’t catch a single break.” 

“Damn, Sami, you gonna do somethin’ tonight, or what?” 

“Hey! I’ve been dealt nothing but crappy cards!” 

You returned with the Tribal Chief’s beer, smiling as he kissed your knuckles in gratitude. He didn’t urge you to sit back down in his lap, which you took as a sign that he was comfortable with you offering your attention elsewhere. 

You looked up and immediately met Jimmy’s hungry gaze again. He’d been waiting for you for a while now and you knew you couldn’t deny him, making your way to his side and allowing him to pull you into his lap. 

His arms were wrapped around you instantly, his lips attached to your neck as he pressed kisses there. You couldn’t help but giggle, your laughter causing him to smile against you. 

“Sweet girl,” he murmured. It was his favorite thing to call you. “Love it when you sit with me.” 

You leaned back against him, pulling your legs up to curl contently in his lap like a lazy housecat. “Love it when you hold me.” You returned, nuzzling into his beard as he leaned forward to grab the cards that Solo had dealt. 

You didn’t miss the way Jey’s eyes flashed over to you, his emotions once again written all over his face. He was jealous, despite the fact that he had bent you over the kitchen counter no more than an hour ago. The man was insatiable. You couldn’t help but chuckle at the younger twin, throwing him a cheeky wink just to watch him squirm. 

“Yeah, that’s right,” Jimmy’s voice was smug. He’d noticed his twin’s jealousy too. “Got the prettiest girl in the world in my lap, don’t I? Too bad she don’t wanna sit with you.” 

A splotch of color dotted Jey’s cheeks. “She only sittin’ with you ‘cause you need a handicap.” He grumbled, causing Jimmy to throw back his head and laugh. 

“Don’t be mean,” You chided Jimmy, your fingers curling in the soft fabric of his shirt. “Or else I’ll get up.” 

Jimmy’s grip tightened against you. “Oh, you ain’t goin’ anywhere, babygirl.” His words sent a shiver down your spine. 

He held up his cards to you but you didn’t care much about them, opting instead to press your face to his chest and close your eyes. 

You heard the others talking amongst themselves, but you felt lost in Jimmy’s touch, practically purring as he stroked your soft skin. You felt him slide his hand down your thigh, his hand resting dangerously close to your already leaking pussy. You felt your breath stutter, instinctively opening your legs just a little further to grant him access. 

To the table, Jimmy announced, “Call!” and threw some of his chips into the pot. Meanwhile, his hand continued to creep further between your legs, your eyelids fluttering at the feeling. And when he found the wetness there it took all of your willpower not to moan lest you distract from the game. 

“Still soaked, baby?” Jimmy had been the one to catch Jey fucking you in the kitchen. “Or is it just me that you all wet for?” 

You reached out and grabbed his wrist, holding it like a lifeline. “Just…just you.” You stuttered, your hips instinctively pushing back to find the erection Jimmy was hiding in his sweatpants. 

Jimmy chuckled, still completely in control as he dipped his fingers in between your folds, playing with you. 

“Call.” Solo said gruffly, his eyes meeting yours across the table. He was always so difficult to read, but you could have sworn you saw the barest twinkle of amusement in his eyes as he looked on, knowing exactly what his older brother was doing to you under the table. 

“Five.” Roman put in his bet. Sami folded. Jey raised. You leaned further into Jimmy’s touch, forcing yourself to keep still as one of his long fingers reached further down to tease at your empty hole. 

“What do you think, sweetheart?” Jimmy asked you, but you were playing a different game, pressing open-mouthed kisses to his neck as he kept his movements slow between your legs. Jimmy chuckled darkly, his lips brushing across your forehead. 

“Guess I’ll call then.” 

He leaned up to place his bet and you felt his erection dig deeper into your backside, your pussy spasming at the feeling. Jimmy smirked against your shoulder as he pressed a kiss there, his breath warm against your ear. 

“Such a needy little thing,” he cooed, keeping his voice low as his brothers began to argue. “Need me to take care of you, baby?” 

You nodded into his neck, your cheeks flushed as you met the Tribal Chief’s amused gaze. He seemed entertained watching you try to sit still in Jimmy’s lap, his eyes traveling down to where Jimmy was keeping a possessive grip between your legs. He smirked at the sight and you wondered exactly what he was thinking. 

The final card came out and you glanced at Jimmy’s hand. He had nothing. 

Still, the older twin’s face gave nothing away, his fingers continuing to glide through your soaked folds as he kept you close. You could feel warmth pooling at the base of your spine, goosebumps exploding across your skin as Jimmy’s beard brushed against the back of your neck. 

There was a silence around the table and you realized that someone had asked Jimmy a question. They wanted to know if he was still in. 

Jimmy chuckled against your ear. “I’ll let our pretty girl decide.” His finger dipped into your leaking hole and you couldn’t take it anymore. 

“He folds.” 

You heard laughter from the rest of the table as you grabbed Jimmy by his shirt and dragged him to the closest bedroom, though you didn’t miss the way Jey’s eyes followed the two of you, his expression hungry. 

Jimmy kicked the door shut behind you, still chuckling as your frenzied hands tugged his clothes from him. 

“Need me that bad, honey?” He sounded smug and it would have annoyed you if it didn’t turn you on so fucking much. 

“I do,” You were too horny to be embarrassed about how desperate you sounded. “Need you so bad.” 

Jimmy’s eyes darkened at your words and before you realized what was happening he was picking you up with ease, throwing you onto the bed. 

His body was on yours in an instant, his lips latched onto your neck with such ferocity that you felt your back arch at the feeling, the pain and pleasure sending more warmth between your legs. 

You felt his cock nudge against your entrance and your legs parted easily for him, soft whimpers falling from your lips. 

“Such a slut for me, ain’t you, baby?” 

You nodded, willing to agree to anything if he would just fuck you right now. Jimmy leaned up to look at you, his chain dangling above your nose. 

“Beg me to fuck you.” He commanded, ignoring your gasp of surprise as he flipped you onto your stomach with ease. “Beg me to fuck you and if you sound pathetic enough maybe I’ll consider it.” 

He was so full of shit. He was just as desperate as you, his cock rock-hard as he pressed against your backside. Still, you didn’t hesitate to obey, every thought in your brain focused on him. 

“Please, sir, please.” You begged, the honorific rolling off your tongue with ease. You knew it drove him crazy. “Please fuck me, sir. I need it. I need you.” 

Jimmy chuckled darkly, landing a harsh swat against your ass just to watch you jump. 

“Keep going. I want to hear more.” 

You wriggled your hips pathetically beneath his strong hands and he smacked your ass again. “Don’t be greedy,” he admonished, his voice rough. “Keep talkin’, slut. Let me hear it.” 

You looked over your shoulder at him, desperate tears forming in your eyes. His eyes were dark, looking far too close to a predator surveying his prey, and you shivered. 

“Please, sir. I need you to fuck me.” You sniffled, arching your back to present yourself to him. “I need you to claim me. Make me yours. Please, sir, I need it so bad.” 

The tears started falling and Jimmy seemed pleased. 

“Good girl,” he cooed, his cock beginning to push through your soaked folds. “It’s alright, baby. I’ll give you what you need. And you need it bad, don’t you, honey?” 

You nodded, letting out a hiss as he pushed deeper into you, your body struggling to adjust to his size. 

“Jesus, you stranglin’ my cock, little girl.” Jimmy groaned, placing his hand between your shoulder blades to push you down into the mattress. His fingers dug into the soft flesh of your hips and you knew it would leave bruises. “So fucking tight. Practically sucking me in.” 

You whined beneath him, your body beginning to tremble with need as he filled you so perfectly. 

He bottomed out and you almost sobbed from pleasure. You could feel him brushing against that sweet spot inside of you, this angle keeping him lodged so deep that you felt it in the back of your throat. 

“Sir, please-”

You could hardly get the sentence out before Jimmy pulled out and slammed back into you, the movement so rough that you felt yourself being shoved back into the mattress. 

“Yeah, that’s it, slut,” Jimmy moaned, his hips picking up speed as he thrust into you. He reached out and tangled his fingers into your hair, yanking at it so that your back could arch even more against him. “Take it all. You can do it, baby. I gotchu.” 

His sweet words, so at odds with the brutal way he was fucking you, sent you into a haze, pleasure spreading across your body like wildfire. 

Jimmy slapped your ass again and the sharp pain had you moaning, your pussy spasming around his massive length. 

“Oh, you like that shit, huh?” Jimmy’s words were scalding you from the inside out, your cheeks burning as he continued to tug on your hair. “Like it when I rough you up?” 

You tried to nod but Jimmy’s grip on your hair made it impossible. Jimmy laughed and the sound was mean. 

“That’s okay, baby. I can give you whatchu want.” 

He shifted the angle of his hips and you let out a strangled scream, his cock now hitting your g-spot with devastating accuracy. A few more slaps against your ass had you crying, the pleasure so good that it was threatening to overwhelm you. 

“Please, sir.” You sobbed, barely able to keep your eyes open as he continued to hammer into you. “Please, can I come?” 

“Come on this dick, slut.” 

You lost all control of yourself, your muscles tensing as the powerful orgasm wracked your body. Jimmy’s tight grip on your hair kept you from fully collapsing on the bed, your pussy continuing to spasm and convulse around Jimmy’s massive cock.

“That’s it, baby,” he gasped, his hips stuttering against yours. “Such a good girl.”

He pulled out so suddenly that you choked on a sob, your body shivering at the sudden feeling of emptiness. Jimmy smacked your ass one final time before he came, thick ropes of come painting your ass and thighs. 

Jimmy let out a contented sigh, slowly releasing his tight grip on your hair to allow you to collapse onto the bed.

"Shhh, it's alright, honey," Jimmy cooed, moving to your side so he could kiss your forehead. "You did so good, baby."

You felt goosebumps prickle at your exposed skin, shivering again as your body came down from its high.

Jimmy noticed, quickly wiping you down with his discarded shirt so he could cover with you a blanket, crawling beneath the covers to join you.

You let out a sigh of your own as Jimmy pulled you close, the feeling of his strong body beneath you keeping you grounded. Jimmy continued to whisper sweet praises in your ear as he stroked your hair, his lips soft as he kissed your tear-streaked face.

Jimmy suddenly looked around, as if he were just now figuring out his surroundings. "Ain't we in Jey's room?"

You looked around too, letting out a small huff laughter at the realization. "Looks like it."

"Hm. He ain't gonna be happy about that."

You smiled, pressing adoring kisses beneath Jimmy's jaw. "He'll get over it."

_____________

next part: valentine's day (solo)

previous part: bloodline property (part four)

besties: @mindairy @amandairene88 @askullasunflower @acute-crashout-jeyuso @partypoison00 @brianochka @femdisa @luvrsluxe @zephyrazzz @scorpiochaos @gardencottage

[luvsizedfrellie]

Small idea of streamer Ellie..

You'd been watching Ellie stream for a bit, lounging on the bed, scrolling through your phone, pretending to be engrossed in something else. But really, you're feeling that little niggle of attention. Ellie's so caught up in her online world, bathed in the glow of the screen and..it's not like Ellie is ignoring you, not exactly. But sometimes, when Ellie gets in the 'zone', it's like you could be a piece of furniture for all the notice you gets.

And sometimes, just sometimes, you need that little reminder that you're Ellie's girl. It's a little ego stroke, sure, but it's also about feeling connected, feeling desired, especially when your girlfriend energy is poured into everything but you.

So, you push yourself off the bed, walking over to Ellie's gaming chair and then you just slide onto her lap, straddling her thighs, unbothered.

Ellie's yelped, her fingers freezing on the WASD keys, her avatar probably running headfirst into a wall in-game. Her eyes snap to met yours, wide and confused, for a split second, panic flickers in Ellie's eyes. Not because of you on her lap – gods no, she loves it when you gets all touchy-feely but because of the stream. The little red 'LIVE' icon in the corner of her screen feels like it’s flashing accusingly, she muted the mic right away.

Her mind races. Chat is going to freak. What if someone clips this? What if the haters start…the ugly voices in her head, the ones that whisper doubts about you being 'too good' for her, 'out of her league', 'she's gonna leave you for someone better', they start to bubble up. Bullshit, Ellie knows it's bullshit, but those voices are insidious, and the thought of them turning their venom on you, on their relationship… it makes her stomach clench. She wants to protect you, to shield you from that ugliness.

But you aren't giving Ellie a chance to spiral, your hands come up, framing Ellie’s face, your touch warm and grounding against her suddenly flushed skin and it pulls her back from the edge of her anxiety.

"Hey" your voice a low, husky purr that only Ellie gets to hear up close, you use your hands to gently, firmly, turning her head away from the tempting glow of the monitor, forcing her to meet your gaze. "You've been ignoring me quite a lot, sugar." Ellie's still a little dazed, her heart thumping a nervous rhythm against your own, but she's melting under your touch, the anxiety receding like a tide.

Your gaze locking onto Ellie's for just a beat longer, a silent question in your eyes. She just sighs softly, her own gaze softening, giving you all the permission you needs. You lean in, and instead of aiming for her lips like you usually does when you want to tease, you presses a firm, lingering kiss right onto Ellie's forehead, you holds it there for a moment, your lips warm and soft against her skin, before pulling back just enough to look at Ellie again.

She's completely dumbfounded, her brain is still trying to catch up. Forehead kiss? You've never done that before. It's sweet, unexpectedly tender, and incredibly effective. All the tension that was coiled in Ellie's shoulders just unravels, replaced by a warm, fuzzy feeling that spreads through her chest.

A slow smile starts to bloom on her face, starting at the corners of her lips and spreading until it lights up her whole expression. She can't help it. She bursts into a fit of giggles, a delighted, breathless sound that fills the room. She reaches up and touches her forehead, feeling the faint dampness and the slight stickiness of your lipstick.

ᥫ᭡ cuteness overload with Ellie streaming with the kiss on

Ellie hesitating with a shy smile, then flicked the mic on. "Uh. So. That happened." her pointing at her forehead.

Chat flooding with hearts.

────────────

Ellie stretching one last time, then pushing herself out of the gaming chair, padding towards the bed, you pushed your phone aside and opening your arms in invitation.

Ellie practically melting into the embrace, settling down on you, her head finding its natural home on your shoulder, pressing a soft kiss to the curve of your neck.

"Objective achieved." you smiled softly.

[whenikissedthegiyuu]

listen.

Sakusa who suddenly starts going out more. He’s Atsumu’s #1 enemy. If Atsumu has no haters, then it means he’s dead. But one day he starts telling you he’s going to the gym with him, another day they’re jogging, soon they start hanging out at Atsumu’s place. Yes, the same apartment Sakusa once said he feared would be full of germs and bugs since he doubted the blond cleaned up after himself.

Sakusa who started hiding his phone when he was texting. He had always been open with you, he didn’t even have a passcode in his phone and said you were welcome to use it any moment. He even said you could go through his social media and texts if you wanted, but you trusted him fully, so you never did. After weeks of spending more time on his phone than usual, you decided to break your vow of never invading his privacy. Good thing he forgot his phone on the couch when he went to shower… but of course it has a passcode now.

Sakusa who didn’t even realize how suspicious he was being. One day you decided to bring him lunch since he left in a hurry in the morning, only to hear him telling Atsumu that he felt horrible for lying to you, to which the setter replied that he wasn’t lying, just omitting the truth.

Sakusa who stared at you when you cornered him as soon as he got out of his shower and sat him down on the couch that evening and asked him if he was seeing someone else, if he had fallen in love with someone else. He was short circuiting. Why the hell would you think that when he was utterly obsessed with you?

Sakusa who has half a mind to murder Atsumu for suggesting to lock his phone and keep it tilted away from you so you wouldn’t accidentally see all the ring pictures he was showing the blond because for some reason it’s the only one from the team he trusted with his, he surprisingly knew how to keep a secret. He watched you breaking down in front of him, telling him how you trusted him blindly but you were seeing so many signs that he was going to break up with you, you were just asking him to get it done and over with so you could start packing your things and go back to your parents’.

Sakusa who simply got down on one knee and reached for the ring he had been carrying for weeks, because he had this whole stupid proposal planned but none of it mattered now. He wondered why he wanted to wait for a special or perfect moment, when every moment he spent with you was special. So, he proposed to you in your living room, wearing nothing but a towel around his hips that was about to slide off, while you sat there in your oversized shirt, mismatched socks, and eyes swollen from crying all afternoon with your overthinking. And, of course, you said yes after punching his shoulder you were aiming for his chest but your eyes were full of tears, of happiness this time.

[ckret2]

Was re-reading your fic and a cheesy joke I heard in high school came back to haunt me when I got to the beach scene. Here it is:

"Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach?"

"It was over 90 degrees."

On an unrelated note, do you think Ford would ever use geometry jokes/puns?

Comedy gold. I've gotta find a way to work that into the fic.

I'm going to take this question unnecessarily seriously: for me, the core of any "would [character] use [subject matter]-based puns" is "would [character] use puns?" Because, the subject of the puns aside, the world is divided into Pun Lovers and Pun Haters.

My gut feeling says that he'd be a pun hater, given his known grammatical pedantry and the likelihood for puns to break grammar rules. But I never go with a gut feeling when I can go with canon evidence instead.

And I'm coming up blank, do we ever see Ford using puns? Like,, on purpose? There are plenty of creatures with punny names in the journal and such ("plaidypus"), but it's hard to tell whether Ford came up with them or adopted terms that the locals and/or research materials already used for the creatures. Princess Unattainabelle is clearly a pun, but again we don't know whether that was his creation or if she's a stock character pre-written into DD&MD lore, the way Probabilitor is.

Off the top of my head, I can only remember Ford making three jokes, all in TBOB: "the apple pie is made from scratch" / "I must meet the chef who made the atoms"; "can I call you slick?" / "you can call me anything except late for dinner"; and "I have missed you... but my aim is getting better!" Two of those jokes he learned from Bill & his dad. All three of them are based on wordplay, but not based on puns—instead it's taking the less-expected definition of words.

Unless someone else remembers other jokes he's made, I'd call that the most likely basis of his sense of humor.

So, he might not make geometry-based puns; but on the other hand if somebody said "I'm driving straight from Portland to San Francisco!" he might go "wouldn't it be easier to drive there on roads?"

[genderqueerdykes]

As a genderqueer trans man, I've met far too many people who make "hating men" their entire fucking personality. And this is from cis radfem women, to trans lesbians, to cis male drag queens, to binary fucking trans men. So many people think "hating men" is how we solve society hating women. It is so not it.

"I hate men" is like people think they're scoring morality brownie points. It shows they've not actually taken any critical thoughts about feminism or the patriarchy. They're like "oh so I say this and people think I'm a good person? Cool then I will say it".

And sure there is nuance. In a lot of cases. But man haters really just cannot be arsed with this level of thinking, huh?

Sorry, I realise this is somewhat angry but! Obviously not aimed at you. Thank you for being so out spoken about this.

thank you so much for sending this i really, really appreciate it. you are so right.

it's literally a personality trait to so many people, it's embarrassing. like it's ACTUALLY embarrassing. people like to say cringe this cringe that. i think man hating, especially as a personality type, is one of the most embarrassing things you can choose to do. like we literally criticize misogynists here, people who genuinely spend tons of time thinking about and finding ways to oppress women. it's great that we talk about this. but making an entire personality type out of hating men isn't helping. it's not gonna make misogynistic men stop being misogynists. there are men who identify as proud misogynists. why is a woman identifying as a proud man hater be any different? same behavior.

"I hate men" is like people think they're scoring morality brownie points. It shows they've not actually taken any critical thoughts about feminism or the patriarchy. They're like "oh so I say this and people think I'm a good person? Cool then I will say it".

EXACTLY. it's virtue signalling. all "i hate men" is is virtue signalling. people trying to show off their peacock feathers to other people who suck up to terfs. they want to look like they're progressive and sound like a "good person". they so desperately want to be a "good queer," but all this is is sucking up to terfs and radfems. it's so painfully obvious that so many people see them as the ones who are "correct". i guarantee you way more people are secret radfems than they let on, or at the very least, parrot their beliefs without realizing. people will do everything in their power to discredit everyone but radfems and transradfems. like why are people so ready and willing to act like they're right about everything despite claiming to hate terfs. seems like a lot of the "i hate terfs" shit on here is also virtue signalling.

like, i'm calling people out for this. i'm so tired of seeing "op hates terfs" "terfs get the FUCK off my blog <3" and shit like that and then the person running the blog openly and giddily talks about how they hate all men. trans men. gay men. bi men. pan men. aro men. ace men. polyamorous men. bigender men. intersex men. gender non conforming men. butch men. genderfluid men. men who are also trans women. okay, well this is terf ideology. are you sure you hate terfs? because i think you're terfs.

like seriously the amount of people on here who literally spend all day sucking up to terfs and trans/radfems and then virtue signal and show off how much they say they hate terfs is staggering. the amount of people on here who proudly and loudly say they hate trans men and mascs with a passion but then turn around and "fuck terfs" is mind numbing. if you act like this, you're terfs. no matter what you think you're doing, you are sucking up to radfems and that's it. that's all you're accomplishing.

[thebearer]

the idea of you and carmy both being pretty inexperienced and figuring it all out together is so !!! to me. like it’s shy and sweet and nonjudgmental and you both just feel so safe with each other. i can just imagine telling him that you’re insecure about being inexperienced and he’s so sweet but so confused?? and he’s just like?? why would i care about that??

so non-judgmental and just sorta freeing?? getting to explore each others interest and turn ons like that. carmen, genuinely, it would take some coercing for him. just bc he’d be so anxious, so worried that he’d be “lesser than” for not being experienced. then when he finds out you’re the same way??? it’s over. he’s in love. LOVE.

he’s so shy but i know he’d be a freak in the sheets once he got with the right one. someone he felt comfortable with who built up his confidence. he’d only aim to please. he’d get so good at fucking you the way you liked, and would be mind blown and in love at how you do it to him.

love this trope tbh. picturing giggly, kinda nervous, kinda shy sex at the beginning. a lot of:

“that? that felt good? yeah?” carmen looks up from between your thighs, eyes rounded so sweetly you want to squeeze his cheeks. you nod, instead, giving him a grin that he returns.

and some of this:

“did i do that right?” you squeak, watching carmen carefully.

“fuck, yes. yes you-you did it right.” carmen’s arm thrown over his eyes, chest blushed and heaving, trying to catch his breath coming down from his high.

and some:

“do you wanna try this position maybe?” you flash your phone at carmen, the illustrated depiction shining towards him. “could be interesting?”

“yeah that one looks fun. let’s try that.” carmen’s trying to keep his voice level and even, not blush and show his flusteredness at the casual sex talk. it was new to him but comforting, being able to talk so intimately with you.

sometimes the position worked, exceeding your expectations. you’d mark it a success, both of you adding it to your own mental lists of favorites to try again later, becoming more and more natural with it over time.

sometimes it was a fail. uncomfortable, harder than it looked like, or just not for you.

“are you- do you want me to stop?” you look over your shoulder, hips stilling on top of carmen.

“what? n-no. sorry, i was- sorry.” carmen blushes, heat spilling down his chest. you were on top of him, riding him deliciously, yet, he still found himself fidgeting- unsettled, uncomfortable, just not feeling right.

“am i hurting you?” you started to lift, carmen groaning at the loss of you around him.

“no, fuck no. it’s just-“ carmen hesitated, mind foggy from the feeling of being inside you, racing with worry. “i think i like it better when… you know, when you’re lookin’ at me.” carmen muttered. “i just- i dunno, i’d rather see you than just your back. not- i didn’t mean it like that. i-i meant- i just-“

you smile, adjusting yourself carefully, legs swinging and turning until you’re straddling carmen again, this time facing him. “i get it. i wasn’t crazy about it either. i don’t like not being able to see you.”

“yeah. you-you didn’t either?” carmen swallowed, trying to still his hips, feeling you still around him.

you shook your head lightly. “no it felt… impersonal? is that the right word?” you giggled.

carmen laughed with you, soft and sweet, a little airy. “i dunno but this,” his hands found yours hips, squeezing them gently. “feels better already.”

carmen’s a reverse cowgirl hater idk what to tell you??